Tuesday, February 8, 2011

It's ALL About Me.....And Then Some




For some time now I have not quite had my head on right when it came to what I wanted to share with cyberspace.  Then it dawns on me.  When I run, my mind is (usually) so clear, my thoughts are (usually) fluid, and I realize......
TURN OFF THE DAMN MUSIC! 
I ran for two years without music and fell in LOVE with running.  I feel in love in with my Creator all over again.  I feel in love with ME.  I knew myself so intimately, that at times a 15 mile run could go on and I wouldn't even realize it was over.  Running meant that I had time to go deep into my mind, and peek around and bump into old memories and experiences.  I had the time to delve so deep into thought, I would go those places most are afraid to go, you know, the who's, what's, and why's of creation and existence.  Oh yes, I went that far...that far down the preverbal rabbit hole.  Where many never venture because the fear of the unknown paralyzes them.  I go there while running, well I did. 
I finally ran the other morning without the buds.  Without PODRunner.  Without BEP's. Without Adam Lambert (yes I listen to him....and no I do not care what his sexual orientation is....he can SING).  I ran without EMINEM (and YES I like him too....and no I do not care what he stands for or doesn't...his music pumps me up).  Instead I ran with an old friend.  I ran with ME.  The feeling of joy crept over me like I was intoxicated.  My first few strides were that of a newborn yearling.....ok, slight exaggeration, they were that of a runner that has been shown the LIGHT.  My mind was consumed by the life pumping in my ears, legs, heart, and veins.  My breath quickly became patterned and cadence like. The very best part.....my mind was free.  Free of pre-meditated thoughts from Fergie, Steve Boyett, Will-I-Am, and of course Adam.  My thoughts were like you opened fire in a racket ball room with a pellet gun that shoots out tiny little rubber bouncy balls.  They went CRAZY!
My mind became clear, my thoughts became mine, and the rebirth of my creative side took place.  
It became so clear that running is for ME
Its all about ME
MY pace.  
MY run.  
MY time.  
MY heart rate.  
MY splits.  
MY pr's.  
MINE, MINE, MINE, ME, ME, ME.  
Yup, sounding pretty narcissistic right about now huh?  Well, running is just that. When you are not doing it, you think about it.  When your not thinking about it, your talking about it.  When your not talking about it, your reading about it. 
And sure, we all have our reasons as to why we run.  Some run for thinner thighs.  Some run for charity.  Some run for those who cannot.  Some run for doughnuts.  Me, personally, you know why I run, I have said before that I LOVE food, and I run to eat (A LOT).  But I must admit, being a size 2/4 ain't to shabby either! 
In fact it is AH-MAZING!  
I know, that sounded really narcissistic of me....yeah, well I'm a runner.  It's all about numbers, and calories, charities, inches, and pant sizes ALL play a part.
You see, it's ALL about ME.
Your reading MY blog about MY running experiences, and I share them, because I am slightly (due to running), narcissistic.  Is that a downfall?  Well, you may say YES, and never want to read this again, or you may find that deep down inside you want to do something bigger, better, stronger, faster, (for YOU) more than you ever have, and reading my truth about how I feel makes you either A- Live vicariously through me or 2- You get the balls to do it yourself.
As EMINEM would say "You only get one shot, do not miss your chance and blow this opportunity comes once in a lifetime."  When I hear that, I think I have been given a shot to utilize this body to its maximum potential.....and why not?  Ask yourself that. 
WHY NOT? 
Why shouldn't I push myself to the edge, look over, and leap with confidence that I WILL land on two feet (running preferably)?
Quit with the lame excuses.  For every hour you work, you can find two that you fill with BS.  For every hour you fill your life with, you can CHOOSE what and how you fill it.  And I am not saying walk to the edge and leap into running, leap into life and LIVE. Live your life, don't survive it. That is NOT living. Do something that pumps life in your veins, and what ever IT is.....do it with GUSTO! 

1 comment:

  1. Crystal,
    You've captured the essence of everything in running quite well. There isn't a runner on this planet who says "I run for my kids" or "I run to impress people." No. I run for me. It's my work, it's my reward, it's my body, it's my prayer and my very own voice that either gets me to the end or doesn't.
    Good work AGAIN!

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